Carleen
There was a time when I loved the symbolism associated with a circle. How romantic it seemed to me that such a simple and ordinary shape could convey such profound meaning as eternity or never ending love! But I have to admit that my honeymoon with the circle is definitely over.
Circles no longer hold only a positive connotation in my world. They have come, instead, to represent entrapment in the more uncomfortable and frustrating aspects of life.

Chiari is a circle to me. The illness has trapped me in all its roundness and no amount of effort on my part will ever break that circle so that I can escape. Every day I am encircled in the embrace of a condition that controls everything I do. The surprise attacks from a faulty cerebral circuit board that result in headaches and seizures remind me that I am part of "the endless round" of "despair and hope" that forms "the circle of life" ("Circle of Life" lyrics). If the attacks I've experienced over the past four days are any indication, I'd have to say that I am one heck of an important part of that circle!

Time is a circle to me. Like a dog chasing its tail round and round, I spend my days chasing time. And although life sometimes throws me a bone by giving me the illusion that I've caught up with the myriad tasks that need my attention, I am more often like the poor dog whose time is spent in the fruitless pursuit of an unattainable goal. Spring break has come to an end, and the TO DO list it began with circles my neck like a noose. Life was kind and threw me a couple of bones this time around, though, as I did manage to catch up with most of the laundry that had piled up and was able to cook a few things in large batches suitable for freezing for later use.

Work is a circle to me. The more work I do, the less I seem to accomplish because while I've been working on one task, another four have made their way onto my TO DO list. We've been exceptionally busy at the office for the past several weeks. When it gets this hectic, family and friends -- none of whom own and operate a small business -- tell us to "just hire some help." In theory, that's a really great idea; however, the costs associated with having employees outweigh any benefits we may derive from them at this point. Our business is successful and growing, but we are nowhere near rich and with me retiring ahead of schedule and losing nearly half of my income when I do, we can't "just hire some help." At least not yet. And so, the TO DO list grows daily, and the noose tightens.

Yes, the honeymoon is definitely over, and the romance has died! The circle and I must now find a way to get along with one another, to settle into a comfortable pattern that allows us to coexist peacefully. Eternity is, after all, a very long time!
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1 Response
  1. Sherlock Says:

    That graphic is priceless. And as always, your words are so descriptive. I just love reading your blog!

    About spring break? Focus on what you did accomplish and try not to let the "still to do" list weigh you down. Sometimes the burden of what we don't do causes so much stress that the body just rebels.

    *sigh* I know. Easier said than done.


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